all in a Day's work.

(this post was started weeks--maybe even months--ago. i've been keeping track of all his hilarity to make it extra uber ultra real. enjoy.)


Some of you may or may not be familiar with the infamous Dr. Day. Randall. What a baller. I'm in his 460 class, Advanced Family Processes. Apart from being the most unique class I've had during my BYU experience in that he treats us like Masters students, he has been one of the funniest teachers I've ever had. It took me awhile to understand his dry, sarcastic, hidden hilarious humor, but now that I understand, I look forward to class even more. I've been writing down his quotes all over everything, but it only felt right to combine and combust and make a tribute blog post:

• "We can't trivialize our rituals. We've turned Easter into Peeps and Eggs. It has nothing to do with the Savior! It's just about fertility and rites of spring. It drives me nuts! (Someone asked him if he does easter egg hunts with his family.) But of course we do the easter egg hunts. I like to eat them! I'm not above a healthy dose of hypocrisy! I have to speak on Easter...Pray for me that I don't get on a rant and offend everyone in my ward. I'm going to bring marshmallow crosses. No, chocolate crosses. Maybe that'll help. We'll merge the two things together."
• "If you were attending USS and you were going to destroy families and you had a workshop, you’d teach them to trivialize their rituals. You’d turn thanksgiving into chips and bear. Christmas into presents and santas. Easter eggs. Turn them into Easter eggs. Takes all the meaning out of it and turns everything into garbage. Takes all the sacred out of it. We’ve allowed it to get tarnished. Our materials now corrupt our rituals. Thanksgiving is really about black Friday. What does it actually do? Why is this so important? Takes out symbols, emotion, etc, it gets watered down. We’re writing it away. Funerals are really about potatoes. No clergy person, no ceremony, about going to the beach…it’s about going to the beach and the next bottle of bear. And who even is St. Patrick? It’s a chance to wear green, go drink your brain out and pass out in the gutter." [-Dr. Day]
• "Going back to our rituals. We've made Easter about eggs and Peeps, Thanksgiving is now about food and beer...Oh and what about how we've made a ritual for the academy awards? We'll all just sit around and cry and eat food and hug each other because our favorite movie won a reward...how dumb is that?!"
• "Lets say you're having an awe-thing during the super bowl (aw-ful)...is that a sacred experience? No. Absolutely not."
• "If couples minimize their rituals it could be a major wedge--wedgie--between them...I appreciate you being my fashion police person."
• "Resistance is futile, we will assimilate you."
• "That theory is dead and buried and no one likes it.”
• "NEVER SAY THE WORD PROVEN. Holy cow. Write that down."
• "Learn to walk downstream. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy, it means your smart."
• "She is your helpmeet which means your helper, your underling."
• "There’s only a one-letter difference between iniquity and inequity."
• "You can teach people to fight, you just have to have the basic skills"
• "Let's write a book called Toxic Rebellion Further Up the Food Chain."
• "I bring people to dinner, we have dinner, and now they’re using drugs. What the heck. I’m a failure."
• "We’re thinking about inviting you guys over for pizza on Saturday. But you can only come that one time and then you’re never welcome again."
• "I ripped my shirt this morning and I said a swear word. But I said it in German! Is that okay?"
• “This is REAL and it’s really important.”
• Me: "Dr. Day, how did you convert?" Dr. Day: "Well, my teacher said we were going to be baptized for our ancestors. I said, 'I don’t have any ancestors.' And he said, 'Well more importantly we’re going to Disneyland.' And I said. 'Okay I’m going.' And he said, 'Okay, well then you have to have to be baptized.' And I said okay. And that’s the story. I didn’t know the church was true until my mission.” “Why did you go on a mission?” “My mom. And the Vietnam war. So I said, ‘Alright.’ And I went. And now I know the church is true. Don’t worry, my testimony isn’t waivering.”
• "I’ve got the proclamation. I’ve seen it. I’ve read it. I even know some of it by heart. Seriously, I do."
• “The title of the book is Free Agency and How to Enforce It.”
• "Next time we'll have a testimony meeting.. about the class.. and about what you're doing your paper on."
• "Dr. Day, will you move the paper down?" "No, i will not do that. I'm sick and tired of trying to accommodate crazy requests like that."
• "A mind expanded by an idea never returns to its original shape." -Einstein/Day.
• "i'd like this to be a testimony meeting only I don't want you to say your testimony. lets have a little cumbaya around the fire and talk about how girls camp went this year."
• "you cared about this class? really. that's a compliment. thank you so much."
• "it's a selfish personal interest for why i respect and appreciate you."
• "I'm sad that it's over. It doesn't happen very often that you get a group as good as this."
• "you can't build a big enough castle to live in. you can't get a bunch of rounds of ammunition and bags of corn seeds and try to just go down there and protect yourselves. they were at uvu last week. 2,000 dollars you can go down to sanpete county and protect yourself down there. those kinds of strategies are hopeless. you need to strengthen your testimony in a way that you've never thought of. as we become more visible, we won't be able to hide in our urban camoflauge. we've got a big M on our forehead and people will want to know what it's all about. you are going to need to know how to think and not just be compliant and obedient."
• my great great gpa was lorenzo snow.
• "if you don't have a fantastically strong testimony that is renewed every day, you're in trouble."
• "You can go to any school so long as its in utah, in provo, located east of university avenue."
• "You can play soccer on sunday but you realize that you will almost for sure get struck by lightning. God will personally be there frowning at you."
• "You watch movies? I thought we had prerequisites for who could be in this class."
• "What i hope remains is that maybe this was one time when you had to struggle with some ideas. it is what we're giong to be doing a lot of in the future. don't run away from it."

Bro. Day,

Thank you for teaching me tooooooons about critical thinking. Thank you for challenging my ideas, for making me be more thorough, to be the devil's advocate in expanding my vision. Don't worry, my testimony isn't shaken. I'm going to be okay. The church is true. I appreciate you so much helping me to see the importance of being able to have a stance with evidence (NEVER SAY EVIDENCE!)--i mean support--and a legitimate reason for thinking as I do

...notwithstanding my testimony. It has been a whirlwind...and i've absolutely loved it!

Thank you.