"Still, like water, I remember where I was before I straightened out.”

No matter how “fictonal” the account of these writers, or how much it was a product of invention, the act of imagination is bound with memory. You know, they straightened out the Mississippi River in places, to make room for houses and livable acreage. Occassionally the river floods these places. “Floods” is the word they use, but in fact it is not flooding; it is remembering. Remembering where it used to be. All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was. Writers are like that: remembering where we were, what valley we ran through, what the banks were like, the light that was there and the route back to our original place. It is emotional memory—what the nerves as the skin remember as well as how it appeared. And a rush of imagination is our “flooding.”

-Inventing the Truth, 198-9.

epictetus was on to something

"Don't demand that things happen as you wish,

but wish that they happen as they do happen,

and you will go on well."

i prefer my milk ice cold.

As it is seemingly customary, I blog now with many a thing to say and show due to my blogging ineptness.

I thought Raintree would be mediocre at best, but I have been majorly surprised.I have the world's coolest roommates, greatest (and biggest) ward, and neatest bishop. It's nice being close to campus--I embrace this change. I have loved riding my bike to and from school. I don't have to leave 30-40 minutes early. I get great parking. I ride uphill to campus, becoming slightly breathless. I get to feel the wind all around me, and have my lungs filled that fresh fall feeling. Oh, how I have loved lately--getting pelted with orange, brown, or red leaves as ride there, back, or somewhere in between.

I am reminded that life is what I make it.

I loved Sunday night; I came home with both banana and honey whole wheat bread, makena with carrot cake, nicole with no-bake cookies, chelsea with pumpkin cupcakes, jeff (home teacher) with rice pudding, and Jesse/Sven with a crepe, some rice krispies and chocolate chip cookies. It's always a party around here.

I love being in the middle of everything, the diagonal? Agh!

I love our fridge. Why is it always so full? What is it so full of? What is that smell? Where the freak are my eggs? Why are they all cracked?! Oh yeah, because it's freezing in there--literally! no matter how much we adjust the temperature, my things are always icy. But i tell ya... the milk that goes in my bowl makes for cereal that has never tasted so good.

It doesn't feel like a huge transition. I am loving it. I am happy. I am grateful.

Mally Mal girl. Roomy.

Jesse set up the bookshelf--what a man.

Makena brought the pink tool kit--what a woman.

And here we are at our primero fhe gathering.

L-->R

Shayna "Bell"

ich

Mak dog

Nicole

Chelsea

(Mal=m.i.a.)

Hawaiian/Provonian roommates collided in Utah--

remember zell and marie?

quiet house dwellers?

ahhhh they are just the best.

i left a part of my heart in their palms

and in laie.

__________________

Next.

a VERRRRRRRY happy birthday to this wonderful woman!

three necklaces later, she stands, a freshly birthed twenty-year old.

what a beauty, no?

impeccable style, no?

i could stare all day.

(not in a weird way. ha. but seriously.)

after the after party celebration, her choice of fried ice cream and mario kart. N64. ya!

Kels, happy birthday.

I love you, and will love you to my dying day.

No, not even until then, the love will carry over in to the eternities because you are worth holding on to. Way worth it. You're the best, thanks for being such an inspiring, remarkable, incredible friend. I love you. Happy day!

20.

__________________

As a Utahan and a Mormon, it would seem standard protocol for me to have attended at least one sesh of g-con. Alas, I am apparently the exception to that rule.

My cute Canadian cousins invited me the weekend of--best surprise ever! I drove up Sunday evening, slept at their luxurious suite with them, dined like Queens the next morning (Little America. Um, wow.), and enjoyed Sunday morning session on the balcony of the beautiful conference center.

It was a transpiration to remember. :)

Carly introduced me to Eggs Benedict, and Josie hand picked luscious red- and black-berries for me.

Gracias for the meal, ladies.

Ahhh such a stunning place!

__________________

Then

I had the sweet sweet opportunity to see my Viennese American roommate wedded.

Melisser, many many congrats, lovely lady.

While there, I got to see...

...timeless treasure R&B--who happens to be Melisser's cousin.

(Picture this [pun]: Whilst in Österreich, I posted a photograph of a bunch of us on a bike-ride from Melk to Krems. Naturlich, I tagged those I was with, and, naturlich, people commented. Imagine my surprise when R&B wrote, "What the--Tawny, Melissa is my cousin!" Her kusine, my mitbewohnerin.)

...as well as a bunch of blessed babes, aka wien kindreds.

What a time, love yous.

Can't wait for that reu, Covey.

the bon voyage

another christensen cruise came and went with great success.

props to will, for articulately planning and graciously sponsoring the whole shebang.

here are some fots for your enjoyment.

and mine.

probably more mine.

what beauty, no?

in no particular nor chronological order--the events of the week.

-beauty

-scuba diving

-beach

-hearty eats

-etc.

i'm done attempting to enumerate.

it was just a great vacation.

we became purse people. a phenomenon of sorts!

st. maarten. scuba duba.

when we ate like kings.

accidental.

yet again.

i'm becoming so fond of these; maybe i'll make it a tradish to capture one with every venture.

st. thomas, u.s. virgin islands.

aaaaaaaaah.

maagen's bay. got me, kurtis, the bay, and some clouds.

now there's a selfer.

(i'm horrible at them! ha! but really.)

maagen's.

good call kay and colb bringing the wii in your carry-on.

they are masterminds and wii extraordinaires.

(i was wasted and worked each race.)

sometimes i wish i was an aly williams cook or a kate panelley peterson so i could justify photos like this due to legitimate skills in the photography region.

first day. i guess i didn't get the memo to be ugly on purpose.

this picture is my family in a nutshell... and i LOVE it. kaylynn and i sat laughing at this for a solid five minutes the first time we saw it. please just be sure to look at will in the background.

hey look, there's our ship! there! in the background! just behind us! we're probably just standing on the water in dress and pair of heels...

i'm sure.

i'm not a fan of lame, tacky backgrounds like this. i mean, just pose me next to the railing and give me a REALISTIC background, maybe? we are in the middle of the ocean you know.

there's my two cents on that. i just think it looks freakin white trash.

(except we look pretty dang classy.)

i had to get in on this--the houses in the hills, enshrouded. so beautiful!

ha. kaylynn had had.... ahem, a less than enjoyable scuba experience.

coooooolb!

good call, combining the nightly sorbet with his sprite.

our man and woman (waiter-friends) thought he was slightly crazy.

best times.

uber wind=my love.

the gals.

again, thanks will for the week in paradise.

thanks all, for the memories.

π, i/w, sub0

remember this?

Thanksgiving 2008.

we decided it was the time to journey to the past and recreate thatfond Wien recollection whilst, in all actuality, subsisting in provo.

it was a success: August 17, 2009!

(except, of course, for this burnt pie crust; it was later used for a frisbee.

literally.

then jake ate it.

who likes burnt stuff? honestly.)

chao for now sister perry!

she's off to the motherland (russia) to convert many a million souls with her stunning testimony of the restored gospel. what a woman.

______________________

iw

iron and wine.

honestly, one of the best concerts i've attended. maybe ever. but really.

he played the bon apetit of all his tunes; super chill, beautiful stuff--always.

minus the overcrowdation--an overall success.

________________________

loooovin some subzero.

good call!

for you

Dear Kelli,

the moment has since come and gone, buuuut...

back in july--the 16th to be exact--i was at a concert where john schmidt was, like me, a spectator (watching his son play in the show). he was involuntarily summoned and played a little jig for us. i thought of you; here is a token of love.

i took this photograph for youuuuu because ...

a) remember once upon a time when you posted that beeeeeautiful taylor swift song he did a rendition of?

b) remember how i LOVED it?

c) remember how i love you?

d) I was thinking of you as your triath approached.

so now, although, that has come and gone, i am freeeakin proud of you. what an accomplishment! you made a lofty goal for yourself, and you went for it. you killed it! i admire and respect you even more for your enthusiasm, zest, and endurance.

so here, long overdue, a post for you. :)

i love ya. i'm so happy about marko's success and your cutest cute family. you're a gem. keep being you and inspiring everyone around you to reach for greater heights. you're an inspiration to us all.

enjoy.

his cute daughter sang the words. it was adorable. :)

love, tawny

chasing pavements

Kristen assured me it would be addicting.

She was correct.

Last week I was riding here (South Fork. Stunning)...

...and I saw one of these appear then disappear on the trail ahead of me:

Truly. Yes. Scared the bageezies out of me. I swerved and received my first flat. 

Hilarious. 

I lived to tell the tale.

_______________

Maybe I felt invincible after living through that for I willingly agreed to do a bike race that weekend--the ULCER: Utah Lake Century Epic Ride. It was beeeeeautiful! We rode all the way around Utah Lake. I found it remarkably ironic how ingenious words and ideas came to me at that time: the exact moment pens and notebooks were entirely out of reach. I had those--quickly evaporated and now inexplicable words--and songs flooding and occupying my brain the majority of the eight hours, driving me forward as I literally chased the pavements ahead. It was a long day for my brain, eyeballs, and quads. It was such a great experience; I'm super glad I was able to do it. 

Thanks family, for the persuasion beforehand, for the soothing each of the 111 miles, and the for the fond memories afterwards. I'll never look at utah valley the same! 

We are so blessed to be in this gorgeous place. :)

Most of the gang... we're just missing Pam and Craig--who were fixing their third flat by this point, I believe. 

Ha. 

"Epic" ride.

At the conclusion. I stood there too tired for words or movement, and that moment was captured effectively.

Naturlich.

For now, hold on to your children whilst in Provo Canyon... you never know where those black bears are lurking. (I promise that story is not fabricated. I honestly don't know what I'd do if that moment transpired again.) Keep tabs on all sides while canyoning. 

For me, I'll keep chasing those pavements before our gorgeous valley is lined with cold cold whiteness.