this is magical!

you're going to hate me. photo overload. hey! you asked for it!!

okay. so i honestly cannot BELIEVE how quickly time goes here. it's insane. literally insane in my membrane. i've almost been here for three weeks. mind blowing. 

all i have to say is that life is absolutely magical and i feel like the happiest human in the whole whirld (ahem. whit? alliteration much? love hugh.)

so. after the whirl wind of goings and comings from the airport and packing, i was yet again sitting in an airport terminal holding this ticket in my happy little manitas. 

it was real. it IS real. 

(i seriously walk around pinching myself ALWAYS because this is suuuuch a dream to me.)

absolutely ecstatic.

anyway. a bunch of other teachers and i landed and were picked up from the airport with a group of missionaries.

 

we drove through the crazy city admiring...pretty much everything.

until we got there.

the famous B on the hillside! 

this was my first site of my new home for 12 weeks:

(this is the benemerito/ccm from the entrance)

i walk down this street errrrr time i go home. that blue beauty on the left there is mine!

cute. i live in casita 14!

 

our living quarters. where i presently sit messaging you.

this is my room and my roomy lauren--who is absolutely amazing, the salt of the earth, and definitely a kindred spirit.

this is the building where i teach in the evening...

...and the building where i teach my morning district.

morning district classroom.

it's total cash because these rooms are way nice and built for a class of, what? 30 alumnos? yet i've got 10-ish missionaries in there. it's quite spacious.

here's the vista outside my classroom:

(the thomas s. monson building. this is where the missionaries have trc and email and such.)

looooooooooooove

directly outside my classroom!

this is what's called the "zona rosa." 

i love studying out here. this is also where we do progressing investigator.

these are my cute sisters in my a.m. district...

and some of my elders. :)

i totally put them on the spot yesterday for a teaching activity where they have to really channel the spirit and teach together....

blind folded.

of course they did a rockin' job. the Lord's prepared the finest missionaries ever!

this is the teacher's zone.

this is where i get to renew some covenants err sunday...

with cuties like this one. 

i melt when they speak spanish! love it!

ha ha of course. my barrio (ward) is named after her. literary geeeeenius!

so that's what i do. that's where i love. i LOVE the CCM. it truly is such a sacred place where we are taught from on high. I know that this campus has been prepared for this since it opened. there's an incredibly special spirit here!

_____________________________

on tuesdays i have the whoooole day off. to do whaterrr i desire. 

apart from the normal preparation day things like laundry and cleaning and garb, i spend the day running around the city absolutely loving my life. 

to DEATH.

one time we went to the museo nacional de antropología... 

...and i died. 

loved it. holy hugest, longest thing of my life, but wow. what culture. 

americans are so boring!

here are a few neat things that i enjoyed:

 preparation day two weeks ago we went to chapultepec, which is a sick castle in mexico city. it started pouring rain once we got there, but that didn't dampen my experience one bit (pun); it instead amplified my joy. 

viva!

i must just give a shout out to douglas weatherford and my other amazing maestros who taught me the history behind the monuments, buildings and artworks. i am absolutely RELISHING the experience because of it! 

aaaaah mi sor juanita inez de la cruz. LOVE her stuff!

stop. also a huge fanatic of him.

 

pride. águila devorando a una serpiente sobre un nopal. 

such history.

 preparation day this last week was PHENOMENAL. 

get this--i was set apart as a temple worker in the mexico city temple!

stop. see ya later. 
dreams really do come true.

 

then we went out with the cutest mom and her son kevin from the barrio. they showed us all around! 

including this MALL (can you fathom the architecture?!).

and over to Polanco...where a bunch of jews live. literally. it didn't feel like mexico; it felt like europe! we didn't stand out here--which is a always a plus.

we then we to a little place i'll call ciudadela and wow. you. would. have. DIED. all of you. those cups that i love? yes, i'll be purchasing a cachorro of them. thank you very much. anyways, this place was like the best flea market of the world. HUGE. 

this was our vista at the end of all the shops:

just beautiful. 

and then? a comer! YA. see ya later. taquitos en mi boquita!

 

and then we passed some ruins to get a popsicle. ha ha. LOVE THEM! (popsicles and ruins, too, but mostly i was referring to the people pictured here ha ha.)

___________________

here are just a few random pictures i'll post for the sole purpose of making your mouth water/make you feel jealous/entertain you.

hi. this is a churro relleno with zarzamora (blackberry) and cream cheese. not my favorite, but some of you out there hachoo kaylynn hachoo would sell your firstborn for it. we know where your priorities lay: tabitha....cream cheese....?

tough call.

thinkin of kay and maril in bakeries like this!

and then dying when i eat celestial ice cream! this is a mexican seed called piñon. think of a pistachio meeting a sunflower seed with creamy coconutty strawberry ice cream. mixed with nicotine and celestiality. makes me shed tears of joy and dream about having more.

okay welcome to the most AMAZING thing on the planet: tacos al pastor. (do you see the pineapple above the meat?! the drippings make the meat so ridiculously rico!)

i die. 

would you like it with queso? YES YOU WOULD! it may make you sick though. beware.

buuuuut as we alway say down here, vale la pena! aka it's sooo worth it.

 on friday night we had a stake party. we danced,

we ate elote (my first one!)

(i mostly did it for two of my companions that always gave me garb for not trying it. but here's the recipe and you tell me if i'm crazy:

1: corn on the cob. 

2: mayo.

3: cheese.

4: chile.

RIGHT?! not the hugest fan. but it was worth the experience.)

then we got to see the whole procession with the flag and felt a little strange saluting our heart, but asi se hace en méxico! (kinda like how we put our hand over our heart, you know? during the pledge? only saluted-style. same diff.)

and then a LEGIT cultural dancing presentation! i was taken back to my days in orchard with mallory keith and our big skirts. wait, why were we honoring asians and latins in the hope of america pageant? cultural diversity in the promised land, perhaps? please, someone help me remember how my huge, yellow, frilly mexican skirt tied into that program.

and then last night was BOMB. 

in case you didn't know, it's mexican independence day. TODAY. 

so we did as mexicans do and we've been celebrating all week. ha ha! last night we had more flag procession things, more rad-tastic dancing (complete with fireworks, machetes, rooster-moves and the "Army of Helaman" song). 

and yes, the missionaries were present.

 most of the teachers:

they are seriously the best. i have felt so inspired by them and legitimately honored to be working among them!

aaaaaaaaaaah. all is well here at the mexico city mtc. 

carry on.

i'll be right there

hi. i know. i'm sorry. #sorrynotsorry. this is all i have to say for now. i'll finish my thought in t-minus a few days from my new casita in mexico city. :)

a coming-to...if you will

i had a moment on friday night that was a slight call to repentance--which i am grateful for.

so i recently ranted, raved, got up in your face posted about social media and my frustrations with it. i don't retract my statement--not by any means--but let me just soften it. for a second. then i'll be done and we'll move away. not from here (or wherever you are), just away from the subject. because it's kinda upsetting to me. but i want to explain myself and make it right. that's all.

so a dear family member and i were talking about blogging. i asked if she'd visited a certain site; she hemmed and hawed and chose her words carefully before honestly saying that the webpage I was referring to her was a little "too much" for her. it was too... it just wasn't real. i had this coming-to moment and realized that i need to make some changes myself regarding my usage of social media. let me back up.

very recently, i was telling my roommate that i've discovered that i'm a way intense person. like...really intense. i never realized that before! she always tell me about how the girls in her family are tough and just...intense. strong. extreme. fierce.... anyways, i identified that intensity her and in her sisters, but then i slowly realized that i, too, exhibit similar characteristics.

i'm okay with it. really. i'm okay with being an intense person. BUT. since i'm new to this game of intense people, i do recognize the need to tame certain aspects of my ser so that I don't impose my intense-ness on others.

the whole purpose of my post was that we should use social media for meaningful things. on friday, however, i realized that putting intense feelings on a blog isn't normal or natural or even enjoyable to read. i bet it's be "too much"!

i realized on friday that our blogs should be like normal life and our conversation. it's not normal or natural or intended that we alllllllways be talking about the gospel or about spiritual experiences. sure it's good subject matter, but we need to be balanced! we need to sit back! laugh! dance! make jokes! hike! be silly! try new recipes! hunt or whaaatever it is! if i'm always waaaaaay intense with people (in conversation or on my blog), i'm probably going to do more damage than if i was just being normal and equilibrilized (not a word). am i making sense?

so. i know you probably don't currrrr, but i'm finally getting it. blogging can be good. it has potential. if it's real. then it's awesome. if it's something you can connect with, make you laugh, make you cry, uplift you, make you feel better about life--then great. if it's preachy, then what's the point? no one likes that! i don't mean to be that way and i don't mean to be so in-your-cyber-face, but i just... i just feel so intensely and so incredibly ridiculously indescribably passionately about it!

but. balance. it's a good thing. so i hereby dedicate this blog to the building up of the kingdom and for the benefit of the saints through hearty laughs, dumb puns, recent realizations, interesting insights, spiritual awakenings, beautiful pictures, random thoughts, thought-provoking questions and everything in between. it'll be nice. it'll be real. it'll be me.

from the modern-day Isaiah:

"can we, even in the depths of disease, tell Him anything at all about suffering?

in ways we cannot comprehend, our sicknesses and informities were borne by Him even before they were borne by us. the very weight of our combined sins caused Him to descend below all. we never have been, nor will we be, in depths such as He has known. thus His atonement made perfect His e m p a t h y and His mercy and His capacity to succor us, for which we can be everlastingly grateful as He tutors us in our trials. there was no ram in the thicket at Calvary to spare Him, this Friend of Abraham and Isaac."

-neal a maxwell, As I Am, 116-17

el PORQUÉ y luego el QUÉ. {in other words: the WHY before the WHAT.}

[i started this awhile ago and have been sitting on it until now.]
...
I fell asleep by the fire last night. haha. who does that? i was writing some liebers letters and then, next thing i knew, someone had put a small blanket over me and the fire was doing the rest of the work. and then it was morning. what a peaceful rest! (insert fire emoticon.)
i've been avoiding blogging. i'm mad at blogs. i'm upset. i'm dodging them. i hate them.
that's not entirely true. recently i voiced my blogging disgruntitude (made that word up) with a dear arizonan friend. she laughingly told me to jump on the bandwagon and just delete it all--blog, facebook,...everything. to heck with social media! i'm sure you're like me; if we haven't already done it, we've considered unsubscribing a number of times (sheerly because of how low it's all stooped as of late). but i refuse.  i feel like i have too many special ties with people in removed places that would be severed and too much good that can be done with these INCREDIBLE tools we've been given. and i'm not ready to sacrifice that. so, after i'd paused to reconsider deleting my fb and such for the billionth time, i re-remembered what i already knew, and told my friend that i wouldn't be doing so after all. so here i am.
i've had this question on my mind. i want to ask you, fellow "blogger" person thing: why are you on here? think about it.
once upon a time my mission president taught god's pattern for teaching his children. he then told us that we'd sure as heck better teach our investigators the same way if we wanted to be successful:the whythenthe what the why = the doctrine/reason that should drive our behaviorthe what= our behavior/result of the "why" 
example: why do we keep the law of chastity? a) because God has commanded itb) because our body is a gift from God as well as a temple, and c) because when we obey God's laws we are blessed--in this particular instance we are able to qualify for the spirit. 
so that's the why. what's the what?the "what" part of the law of chastity is what it specifically entails--abstinence before marriage, fidelity after, clean thoughts, no pornography, no voluntary abortions, and no gay/lesbian relationships. 
as human beings, we mess it up and teach it backwards. if we teach the what before the why, it seems people are much less willing to keep the commandment or they don't fully understand/have a testimony of why they're doing what they're doing. when, however, the doctrine is taught first (the why), the actions (the what) come accordingly and reflect that understanding of the doctrine. 
aka the doctrine comes before the covenant. D-->C. d&c. :)
i know it seems like this is all one big long controversial ranting tangent, but just wait. hear me out. i feel like we all go about our merry happy business doing the "what" of social media but we're forgetting the "why" behind it all. why the flip do we have it?! why the freak are we lucky enough to have been born in this day and age with all the technological advancements?!
i'll tell you why.
it's because the Lord has prepared this as his means to preach his gospel and gather israel. 
are we using it accordingly?
quite frankly, i don't care what you're eating or what you're wearing or where you bought it. does it get me closer towards eternal life? rotundo no. is it uplifting me? probably not, especially since we're all most likely comparing ourselves to one another and that never did anyone any good ever in the history of time. 
so what good are we contributing to the world through our social media? are we using the tools god's prepared for centuries the way he'd like us to? are we keeping the "why" in mind? i know i can be better! 
you know what, maybe this all seems so dumb to you. maybe you think i'm crazy. and freak. maybe i am. but. i do feel like there is some substance to this thought process of mine, and i do feel like there's application here. there is a DOCTRINAL reason why we have the blessing of technology, and i think--because it's sooo powerful and far reaching and specific to our day--that satan wants us to underuse/misuse it. 
i invite you to come up with your own "why" as i return to my original question--why are you on here?  what are you contributing to the world through social media?
i refuse to delete my facebook or my blog (and i'm not judging those who felt it was the best decision for them. please. you can't argue personal revelation. i don't judge you!). the reason being that i feel the world is dark. life is hard. there are so many things pulling us down and distracting us. we need light. we need reminders of the truth and of the things that really matter. we live in a time of incredible development and advancement. we are privileged. and i feel particularly blessed not just to be alive in this era, but mostly to have what i have: the knowledge of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. it's everything to me. and i want to shout it from the ROOFTOPS! (or better yet, how about i save my voice and reach more people in multiple time zones by just posting it online?)
so hi. my name is tawny. i'm a student, a dancer AND a human, an adventurer, a lover of ice cream, latin everything, the wind, and i'm a Mormon. 
that's why i'm on here.
i hope that something i feel inclined to share will bless and benefit someone out there somewhere at some point in time. i also hope that, with the "why" in mind, i'll be able to use my social media appropriately. 
and i hope you'll do the same.

thanks to: whit. for: always looking out for me and mine.

This one's for you:

"I hope that you recognize and believe in the promises that there is a green pasture for each and every one of us. And do not be deceived into thinking that even though there are different and seemingly unfair paths in life, that in the end we all get the same pasture. Your pature will compensate for our path and my pasture will compensate for my path. Whether in this life or in the next, and it is always in both, when the Lord opens up the windows of heaven, there will be a pouring forth of blessings that directly heal and repay for every individual pain and sacrifice you are experiencing...

Whatever blessings you have gone without will be made up to you in divine and glorious fashion. 

I give you every assurance, they will be made up to you to the point where you will not be confident that God treated you fairly but embarrassed that he treated you 

so

very

generously." 

-Pat Holland "The Quiet Heart"

(photo courtesy of yours truly up south fork canyon.)

let's play a little catch up, shall we?

{I drafted this post, hm, back in....October? November? Well, it's still pretty good. Thank you to the unknown sidewalk chalking artist. you were my third witness (x30).}

this is what was sidewalk chalked onto the ground a little while ago on campus:

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Live anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one... Lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness. but in that casket, safe, dark...it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To live is to be vulnerable."

I'm glad it just keeps coming back to that.